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Put Your Mask On First

For a long time, I placed a premium on myself as I should. And somehow when I got married and had kids, I started devaluing myself and what was important to me because I thought I had to devalue the things that mattered most to me to love my family as if I needed to be the sacrificial lamb again. We are taught that love is sacrificial-yes- but not to the extent of losing yourself. For me, love meant sacrificing my own well being and my livelihood. The problem in doing this is that I now became empty. I was looking for my spouse, my children to fill me up in ways that only the Lord could. I had lost my way. I had lost sight of HIS essence. I had lost me. I forgot to prioritize me.Everyone else in the family had to be happy before I could be happy. You can’t give or pour into anyone without filling your cup first.

Many of us have been on the plane when the flight attendant announce to you that in case of an emergency landing, ensure that you put on your mask first before handling your children or your neighbor. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t believe that applied to life or me..just necessary instructions for the plane.

You see realistically, there are only 24 hours in a day, and out of that 24 hours, I didn’t count myself worthy to do something for an hour for myself. An hour a day is only 4% of the day. I was telling myself I wasn’t worth 4%, which is one hour. One Hour to pray, meditate, get my hair done, nails did, blog, exercise whatever it was that made me happy at the time. There was always someone more important, one event that was more important, one meeting that was more important.

We have to change the narrative. Its ok as women to put on your mask first, to prioritize yourself first, to not sacrifice you in an effort to be selfless. And please let’s not Christianese this- this does not mean you don’t have grace or you are selfish, that you’re less of the modern-day proverbs 31 woman or that you’re not a nurturer or that you’re not a good mother or wife. It just means you deserve at least one hour a day to yourself alone- no kids, no spouse, no multiple hats to wear just you. You are responsible for your happiness, not anyone else. And you don’t have to sacrifice you for your family. You are not the sacrificial lamb so go ahead and put your mask on.

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