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The Extra Oil- Your Virginity is not enough

The Extra Oil-Your Virginity is not enough.

Often women pride themselves in preserving their purity till marriage as if this is the greatest badge of honor. I’m speaking about this because for a long time this was my prized possession. Not to discard the importance of being obedient to God’s word. However, if a man knows that all a woman can bring to a relationship is what is between her legs, the relationship is doomed to fail.

Now, I am in no way encouraging promiscuity or sex before marriage, however, contrary to popular belief, there’s nothing so magical about being a virgin(that’s the least I can do for my bridegroom-Jesus). Yes, women are powerful we can receive seed and bring forth life- a man can’t do that. The capacity a woman has, a man does not. Men can’t carry the grace, beauty, and strength a woman possessed. Nevertheless, your ability to preserve yourself for marriage is not enough. It may be enough to attract him and to get his attention, because he may see it as admirable or he may see it as something to conquer, but it’s not enough to keep his attention.  A man is in need of more – he desires a friend, a cheerleader, a woman of intellect,  a cook, a supporter, a woman of purpose, a woman he can grow and evolve with and so much more.

Remember men are natural hunters, and once they’ve conquered their quest, there has to be more that keeps their attention regardless if it’s marital or dating relationship.  What a woman possess between her legs, a man can obtain anywhere, so whether you came into the marriage a virgin or not, it doesn’t equate to happily ever after. Marriage is not a fairy tale. Happily Ever After only occurs as a result of both parties intentionality to commit, work and develop the relationship. Anything that does not develop or grow will wither or die. So we must do the necessary work beyond the bedroom to cultivate what we want to see in our relationships.

Even when we look at the virgins in the Bible (I know, can you believe it, there was more than one virgin in the Bible), we can see that in divine precedence, Virginity before marriage was a pre-requisite for specific benefits, but it was not a qualification for all benefits.

Mary was not the only virgin in the Bible, but she is revered for being the mother of Christ, Out of so many other virgins that God could have chosen to bring the Messiah, God chose Mary because she was humble, a willing servant, trusted and obeyed God’s call. How many of us would submit to our husbands by obeying God’s directive blindly like Mary followed God? I know you might say you’re not Mary, but Mary found favor because although she was poor and would be disgraced for her obedience, she trusted God anyway. Mary was no ordinary virgin; she had something special.

During the reign of King Ahasuerus in the Old Testament, it was a prerequisite that you had to be a virgin before you can have an audience with the king for a chance to be the queen (Esther 2:2). Although Esther was a virgin, it was not an indicator that she will become queen (Esther 2:8-9).  What gave Esther an edge beyond all the virgins competing to be queen was her willingness to not rely on her power or the world ways of obtaining the king’s attention. Instead, she trusted in another man’s wisdom-Hegai, the eunuch that was the adviser to the king(Esther2:15). As a result, Esther obtained favor from the Lord and favor from the king. It was customary that all the contesting virgins were giving free access into the king’s treasury to pick whatever adornment they require in other to please the king, and whatever a maiden took out of the treasury she could keep whether she was selected or not. How many of us are willing to not conform to worldly standards in our marriage? Esther was not just an ordinary virgin; she had something more. (Esther 2:17).

In Matthew 25: 1-10, the five virgins who have the extra oil represent the indeed born again who are eager for the coming of Christ. They have saving faith and have determined that, whatever occurs, in their Christian journey, when Jesus returns, they will be looking with eagerness. Some argue the five virgins without the oil represent false believers who enjoy the benefits of the Christian community without genuine love for Christ. They are more concerned about the party than about longing to see the bridegroom. They hoped that their association with true believers (“give us some of your oil” of verse 8) would bring them into the kingdom at the end.

All though there were ten virgins, but five of them had something special that distinguished them from the others. Jesus described them as wise virgins and the others as foolish virgins. These wise virgins, just like Mary, and Esther had something special that qualified them for the ultimate price/benefits. That unique attribute is in the extra oil.

When we look at this in the context of an earthly marriage, How many of us are the foolish virgin (unprepared), assuming that once we‘re married, everything will fall into place for us and it will be happily ever after. I’m not trying to discourage anyone from marriage or scare anyone. However, marriage requires continuous work, and we can’t come into it without enough oil. In fact, we need the extra oil (similar to Esther, Mary and the wise virgins for our marriages to thrive)

Well what about those that are not virgins or are revirginized, I’m glad you ask. When we look at the Bible there were others who were not ‘virgins,’ yet still obtained favor from the Lord as a result of the fact that had the “extra oil.”Ruth was no virgin to Boaz, but her decision to be loyal to her mother-in-law Naomi (Ruth 1:16-18) shows sacrifice, respect, loyalty and steadfastness which are ingredients of her extra oil. She got results. Her loyalty to her mother-in-law, and discipline in attending to the fields caught the eye of Boaz, and he eventually took her as his wife. (Ruth 2:1-11, 4:9-10,)  What area are you disciplined in? How loyal are you willing to be in your marriage?

The “woman with the alabaster box” (Luke 7:37-38) in the Bible was known as a “sinner,” but somehow she found favor in the sight of the Lord. It was customary to anoint and wash the feet of the guest. However, she goes above and beyond to anoint Jesus’ feet. She washes his feet with her tears, dries them with her hair, and anoints them with oils from her alabaster box. Her oil represented her worship, respect, honor, and sacrifice. Her sins were forgiven and her name attached to the gospel forever.

In summary, that extra oil is what differentiates most women in their marriage, whether virgin or otherwise in their marriage. The extra oil is symbolic of the extraordinary attribute that you bring to the marriage: wisdom, loyalty, submission, discipline, innovative, industrial, etc. Remember your virginity is only the prerequisite. Before you decide to enter a marriage, ask yourself what other assets am I bringing to my marriage?

I Pray that he Lord will give each of us that extra oil, in Jesus Name- Amen.

 

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